Trying to Conceive Category

02
Sep
2009

This Part Wasn’t Planned

sandscolor

This is my husband, Scott, and me.  He is great fun and makes me laugh, therefore this felt like a good photo to share.  Plus he is damn cute and I wanted to brag. 

Scott was very supportive when I told him I was starting a fictional blog about Pregnant Girl.  Great idea he said and then he proceeded to brag about the blog to all kinds of friends, family and co-workers.  Cute, right?  Then after a couple weeks I told him that I was going to start writing a little about our life, just on the days Pregnant Girl needs a rest.  After all, I am going to try to be a pregnant girl very soon (how soon depends on if you ask him or me).  He didn’t say much.  Sorry honey, for this post (especially for the picture) and the hundreds that will follow.

01
Sep
2009

Big Pregnant Butt

Do you like big butts?  Rhetorical question, stay with me as I elaborate.  Yesterday was a gorgeous, perfectly sunny 78 degree day and so I took my big, bad pregnant self out for a stroll.  Fifteen minutes in I was famished so I stopped for a frozen yogurt and window shopped.  Side note here, I have an enormous appreciation for the previous owner of our home for one simple reason, when he remodeled the bathroom he put in a mirror that rests above the vanity and only reveals from the navel up.  Awesome, because I really have no idea what’s going on further south and ignorance is bliss. 

Okay, window shopping again, and the thing about windows is they reflect.  As I strolled past the cutest antique store I thought to myself; that lady really does have an unfortunate figure.  I have quite possibly never seen an ass like that on anyone, maybe I should tell her about the spin teacher at the gym who did wonders for my friend Sally.  Hold.the.bus.  That lady is eating frozen yogurt and wearing her hair in a ponytail…just like me.  I just talked (okay thought) shit about myself.  That is me, my reflection, my big ole’ butt.  Deep, calm breathing followed by immediate disposal of the yogurt.  Okay, so I only thought about throwing away the yogurt, clearly I had to keep shoveling it in as I was far too upset to practice any form of self control.  I kept up the deep breathing as I sulked, while dragging my big butt, all the way home.

What happened to me?  I am more days than I am weeks or months pregnant.  In fact, if you saw me at a party you’d offer me the champagne.  Is it possible that I am carrying our baby in my butt?  Is it possible that a fetus the size of a walnut is sticking out 3 feet behind me?  Or maybe it was just an unflattering window, kind of like that mirror my college roommate bought on sale at Ikea, that thing definitely added 7 lbs.  Yes, for sure, it was the window.

31
Aug
2009

Monday Giveaway

Thanks for talking about our (and by our, I mean women) incessant need to plan.  Congratulations Jessica, you won the Pulp Factory planner, A New Mom’s Life: A Record of Mom and Baby’s First Year.  Please email us at info@myhormonesmademe.com so we can send your gift.

pulp factoryWish you won?  Visit on Thursday and post a comment for next week’s giveaway.

27
Aug
2009

A (hopeful) New Mom’s Life

Last Saturday night we ventured out of the house.  Gasp, I know, the perpetual homebodies got all dressed up and went to a dinner party.  The only people we knew were the hosts and as we mingled the obligatory what do you do was asked and for some reason “I own a maternity boutique” always gets some crazy conversation started.  Our new friend, whose wife was MIA at the moment, asked if I sell the Bugaboo.  My husband smiled and asked him how many kids he had to which he answered; none, my wife just has a file on baby stuff.  Then laughing he added that she even had a wedding file that pre-existed him.  My husband and our new friend instantly bonded over their shared relief of my wife really isn’t crazy, other women do this too (or at least she isn’t any crazier than the others, phew).  I had one question; where is your wife because I have a feeling I will love her. 

As we entered the room where said wife was chatting; her husband announced, hey honey, I was just telling them about that wedding file.  At first she blushed and gave him the look.  We have all given that look when our husbands publicly state something that should so obviously be private. What’s up with their censors anyway?  Sitting in a room of many women she quickly got over it and said, yes I had a wedding file and I have a baby file, they simply compliment my many other files.  And in 3 to 5 years when we need a stroller you, ungrateful husband, will thank me. 

Ahhh, women, we can be organized to a fault.  Or is it to a fault?  Would the world be chaos without those of us who create files and lists?  In case you are wondering what kind of woman I am let me just say I am getting excited just thinking about files and lists.  Just yesterday I asked my husband how we would ever fit a glider in the baby’s room.  What baby’s room?  We don’t have a baby.  No honey, we don’t have a baby, but one day we will and I wonder where I will sit.  Later I laughed as I tried to imagine what that conversation felt like for him.  There he was enjoying a beautiful Sunday afternoon, possibly thinking about what he might watch on TV only to realize his wife is wondering where she will sit in a year (or maybe more).

What kind of woman are you?  Did you have baby names and nursery décor picked out before you had conceived?  Do you just go with the flow and think those of us with files and lists are nuts?  Is your husband the list maker, if so do tell, they are a rare gem.

pulp factoryLeave us a comment on this subject, then come by on Monday to see if you won what every organized girl would love, Pulp Factory’s calendar, A New Mom’s Life: A Record of Mom and Baby’s First Year.