There are those few, very few, women who got knocked up so easily it seems all their husbands had to do was look at them.  I think my grandma is one of those women; it’s the only explanation I can find for having 7 children.  She tells a story where an old neighbor used to ask if they were catholic or careless, turns out they are catholic and fertile as all get out.  For most of the women I know getting pregnant takes a little more effort.  The efforts range, but I am going out on a limb here to bet that you have a pretty good idea given what you might have had to change and/or give up in the hopes of getting knocked up.

Here’s the thing, one day you will shock yourself because even though you know you’ve been trying, some piece of self preservation will tell you it might not have happened this month and so while you pee on the stick and cuss because it got on your hand you will simultaneously give yourself the pep talk “it’s okay, it takes months for everyone, it will happen” and then you will see +.  WHAM, just like that.  The test will say positive and while every fiber in your body knows you wanted this more than anything you will feel surprised.   Apparently that’s just one of life’s unexplainable certainties.  Not to worry because the surprise will quickly turn into insane excitement and here is where you get a little crazy.

As a new Pregnant Girl one of the first things you will do is call your doctor.  (Hopefully after you tell your husband since he does deserve half the credit.)  You are almost driving to doc’s office as you dial because surely she will want to see you, hug you and celebrate you.  Then they answer.

Baby Doctor’s office how can we help you?

I’M PREGNANT!!!!!!

Then the most monotone voice ever will say, congratulations, lets schedule your first appointment for 8 weeks, so let me just look at the schedule here…

Excuse me, I AM PREGNANT, can you believe it?  Pregnant!  Actually, I can’t believe it either and so I thought the doctor might like to see me and check for herself and tell me exactly what I should do now.  Like right now, today, what am I supposed to do? 

And then you are left wondering why they aren’t jumping for joy, when deep down you know why.  They aren’t the ones who just changed their entire future, right there in one tiny moment of positive your pep talk changed to “it’s okay, we will figure out how to take care of a baby.”   And you know what, you will.